I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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