She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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