Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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