Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
