So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
