i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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