my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
