I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There's always time for handjobs
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
