look no pants
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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