Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
