I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
