my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
