Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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