dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
