I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
