we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
