dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I am mentally ready for anal.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
