meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
