his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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