My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
How external is "for external use only"?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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