is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
