I look better un-naked...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
