Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
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Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
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He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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