dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
