We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
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Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
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Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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