Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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