Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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