hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
