I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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