No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
