you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Bring me that man meat
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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