alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
