hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
