i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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