I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
