Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
