i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
