Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
