if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Randomize
