In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize