there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
