And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
