You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just gift wrapped bread.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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