hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
