just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
