She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
