Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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