When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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