The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
