You can't motorboat a personality
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
