i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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