I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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