I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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