Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
