Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
