You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
