I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
we should paint friendship bongs
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