Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
my liver is dry heaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize