Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
